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stellar imperfection.

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[29 Aug 2006|02:41pm]

Just a quick question...

did steller die?
are stellar

i'm hard to remember, yet easy to forget [16 Apr 2006|11:35am]

these eyes, these eyes
they see you, they see you

She has a sense of generous understanding unlike most others,

"ideas appear too vast, too improbable for anything but a dream"

these eyes, these eyes
they see you, they see you

She speaks of pleasure and complexity of love

"Love is a religion of fanatic believers."

these eyes, these eyes
they see you, they see you

But she covers her words in camoflage lipstick

"we are born of imagination, fed upon illusion & put to death by reality"

these eyes, these eyes
they see you, they see you

Only to be heard by those who believe in life, in love, and the beauty that shines through the deepest, darkest dispair.

"the pain passes, but the beauty remains"

these eyes, these eyes
they know you, they love you
1 are stellar

In between Ashby blocks [09 Apr 2006|06:14pm]
There’s a pretty strong breeze whistling from the right of me.
“Strong breeze?”
I suppose that would be a “wind.”
But not a “howling wind”
A “whistling wind”
“Whistling wing?”
That wounds too strong for the element curling the bottom of this notebook.
Either way, it is making the flow of carbon to paper less and less steady.

(Ironically enough a young man casually walked past whistling as I paused to think of my next line – I swear)

So it’s fall.
The sun is out and I found myself
In dire need of a thicker cotton
(i.e. that same black sweater with the broken zipper you always liked).
Sweaters and sun are most definitely not summer
(Although the alliteration makes me tempted to claim otherwise).

It’s always the leaves that make it such a dead give away.
Maybe Mother Nature likes the blatant aspect.
She probably wants to give us at least something we can universally be right about
(unless, of course, you lack the privilege of living in the lovely deciduous biome).
Mothers are nurturing like that.
Mothers nurturing…
Mother Nature…
I can see it.
Still, I must say, it’s a nice departure from the subtle spring-to-summer movement.

There just aren’t enough leaves yet to create the chaos of
littered doorways and
crunchy sidewalks.

Maybe I am cheating.

It’s ok.
She thinks it’s a nice departure from everyone else.
are stellar

[27 Mar 2006|11:07pm]
i am
& you are

emptier than

we are
just fucked up

high school kids

& we can't ever remember
what runs through our heads at night
(a marathon in my head each night).
-- running

the colors are
the light is just like --
are stellar

[20 Mar 2006|09:21pm]

i picked up the phone
i began to dial
one, two, three...

four, five, six, seven digits punched out.
the nurses' station patched me through.

i said,"doctor, what's the deal?
has she made any progress?
does she even want to heal?"

he heaved a sigh and said,
"i'm afraid not. she's just given up."

i thanked him and hung up.
i sat on the couch, strewn with photos
of our past lives,
patched and frayed,

some pieces never to be put together again.

i don't know why i cared, why i kept dialing the phone.
why i wanted the voice on the other end to say,
"she's changed!"

that's what got us in the mess in the first place;
the changes didn't fit us anymore.
we grew in opposite directions and i felt satisfaction
as malicious words fell from my mouth.
i just want you to say, as selfless as possible,
that you were really at fault.
only then can i stop dialing,
stop waiting and hoping,

and finally throw away those memories of our past lives.
are stellar

Knott County [19 Mar 2006|01:06am]
Sleep is reserved between sunset and sunrise
But I cannot manage to keep clouds from my eyes
It dampens the weekends when I know that I'm supposed to see you
Won't see you this time

I'll keep spinning and spinning and pass out and black out
Pretend that I'm dreaming and singing but I doubt
That I can convince myself anything other than you
are stellar

Screen Writing 101 [26 Feb 2006|12:38am]
Why can't life be more like a movie?
A swift plot with just the right lines.
Everyone has an impact that somehow relates to the conclusion.
People fall in love
Fall out of love
Then fall back in love
All in a matter of 2 hours.

I fell in love that fast once.
In 20 minutes I was sold over
Stale popcorn and the burst of a can.
Ironic, aye?
That's what I said.

With screen influences backdrops
We had that final scene over and over again
-only each from a different film.
I know you’ve seen them:
That kiss in the rain.
That embrace on the cliff.
That quiet stroll into the sunset.

It really happened, right?
I didn't picture us in these productions
By my imagination taking control of the script.

That kiss in the rain - on the hood of my car.
That embrace on the cliff - in the bitter cold under a shady cover.
That stroll into the sunset - Sugar Hollow was ours every evening.

Tickets could only sell out.

Check the ratings.

I think we had a box office hit.
1 are stellar

6 After 12 [22 Feb 2006|02:17pm]
There's this girl.
She's here just about everyday.
She scans the lawn for an open patch of grass.
“There’s one,”
She thinks
(Or so I think).

She throws down her just-the-right-size bag.
She unwinds the tangles of borrows headphones as
She clumsily plops down as ungraceful as her hair lays this afternoon.
She checks her oversized, rarely utilized watch.
Just enough time,”
She thinks
(Or so I think).

She seemingly blindly pulls a tattered notebook from the
Just-the-right-size bag.
It’s as if the world would collapse if out of place.
She reaches in for another treasure
-distracted by an itch on the nose she pulls back out-
Then returns digging for the perfect utensil.
“I feel like purple today,”
She thinks
(Or so I think).

She flips for a blank slate among unorganized scratches she deems unnecessary.
She stops near the back.
She pressed her silver button.
She glances at the population surrounding.
“I would kill for a smoothie,”
She thinks
(Or so I think).

She flicks the spider sliding up her knee.
She writes and writes and wonders and ponders.
She smiles.
“Today is a good day,”
She thinks
(And I know so).
1 are stellar

[11 Feb 2006|08:44pm]

holler atcha girl mix
01. jay z, 99 problems
02. yeah yeah yeahs, cold light
03. the beatles, why don't we do it in the road?
04. daddy yankee, rompé
05. coldplay, yellow
06. nelly ft. paul wall, grillz
07. jem, come on closer
08. death cab for cutie, we looked like giants
09. NIN, closer
10. bright eyes, pull my hair
11. daddy yankee, gasolina
12. missy elliot, h.o.t.
13. the go! team, the power is on!
14. the white stripes, it's true that we love one another
15. death cab for cutie, soul meets body OR brothers on a hotel bed
are stellar

[06 Jan 2006|10:21pm]

[ mood | energetic ]

life was breathed into me when the sun bade farewell to the sky and night cloaked us in darkness. i can't remember what words you said or how you looked at me, but i do remember kissing your cheek and loudly exclaiming that you had stubble. my skin was barely covered, so the damp night air nipped at the exposed epidermis. i was too wrapped up in whatever you were saying to really care, but i loved standing there while you smoked your cigarettes and i idly played with my hair. i've been toying with the idea of telling you how i feel; it's yet to be determined if this is good or bad, but for now, it's just floating around like clusters of O2. whatever the outcome may be, i'll remember that night as the night when i really breathed deeply for the first time in years.

1 are stellar

Much love, August [21 Dec 2005|01:32pm]

Dear Bee,
I remember how easily we used to say it. I love you. That's what I want back. I want to be cared about as much as I care about you. I wish for the best every night. I wish for something to turn the page and make it better and to make things perfect in my eyes while making you happy and comfortable and the same time. I just want to see you the way you were when we were in love. The times we felt the most for each other. the times we've watched the stars. we walked off alone without a care and just talked and sat in the middle of two trees, in the middle of a park while watching clouds pass the moon. Watching you smile, looking you in the eyes knowing that you loved me. And that you trust me. I guess I would say I still love you. I think I'll always love you. You were my favorite. It's making me unhappy and it seams like we're getting worse and worse. I want to make you happy again.
Much love, August
are stellar

[19 Dec 2005|12:53pm]


My hands smell like you, of clementine; its parts that are
The orangey citrus that leaks from the peel,
The taste that exudes youth like ours,
And the pieces that remind us of our disjointed past.

That a small, round fruit carries so much meaning is
Mind blowing (as is the concept of other worlds),
Life altering (as are birth and death),
And astonishing (as would be the crumbling of a thousand cities).

The few inched, watery slices are
The pieces of your whole that you have shared,
Those that I used to call “mine” and are no longer just that,
And the beginning of an acceptance of that exchange.

The outside and in, the taking away of the cover to reveal the core are like
My set of skin and bones at the unimaginably artificial surface,
The inside, which you and only you can be part of,
And your ability to comprehend the complexities of that citrus heart.

The complexity and importance of something so small; disbelief.
The giving a part of one’s whole to another; honesty.
The newfound comfort of peaceful discretion; intimacy.
The taste of this power on our tongues; depth.

Citruses sting chapped and broken lips and peels bite at the tips of innocent fingers,
The unforgettable scent plays under these noses for hours because of
The pieces we shared on that night in that car and for that
My hands smell of you, Clementine.
1 are stellar

[06 Dec 2005|10:42pm]


This is taken off my unfinished(but still working on it! If only this writing lethargy will detach itself from me D:) novel, Planes. It's supposed to be a song, in which one of my main character sung, hence the repetition of certain lines.

Elevator Times
The tip of the fingers smothered
The sand, drawing an aureole.
Listening to the blow of the motion
To search for you in the sea's heart.
May you please, check the blanket?
Cause I would be curling up.

Before we meet, we hung our names
I asked you to take mine, "so keep it safe".
And let you play with it when we speak
While feeling elevated because of …

Even the skies are boring through me
So why aren't you here, concealing me.

Before we meet, we hung our names
And it was immersed in you, the safe.
And you throw it around in your tears
While feeling elevated because of …
I am your time. To watch me freeze.
I am your malady. But you got cured.

are stellar

[03 Dec 2005|08:39pm]

i doubt any of you know because not many do, but there is a boy that i genuinely LIKE and it's not LUST, but i like to play around with lust. it's a fun subject. anywho, i was in a mix cd mood while i thought about him in his sexy orange tie. har har.

chemical reaction

the beatles, i want you (she's so heavy)
death from above 1979, sexy results
coldplay, shiver (acoustic)
elliott smith, say yes
jem, come on closer
death cab for cutie, we looked like giants
the strokes, meet me in the bathroom [this song makes sense for this because i always joke around with him and say,"meet me in the bathroom]
the yeah yeah yeahs, cold light
bright eyes, lover i don't have to love
the cure, love song
bob dylan, lay lady lay
rufus wainwright, instant pleasure
weezer, falling for you
death from above 1979, romantic rights
the rolling stones, let's spend the night together
franz ferdinand, this fire
ted leo and the pharmacists, parallel or together? [parallel makes me think of geometry/math and we always do our math homework together :)]
wolf parade, this heart's on fire
are stellar

6:47 cold [01 Dec 2005|06:59pm]

[ mood | disappointed ]

Silence and opression are the main contributors towards unhappiness and dissatisfaction. We feign understanding as a replacement for the inevitable truth that will always be scarier than the lack there of. Society, in essence, is a lie. We tear each other apart in deep competition, reaching for something unattainable. We can never be successful in this outdated, fragmented state. Our minds are bled dry from the pressure to conform. Nothing is left to flow on its own accord but the mere ignorance that controls us all. The war between the past and present, sons and daughers of this falling nation, will never cease to exist, just as the battle (forever on repeat) will never cease to surprise us. We are too numb to recognize the broken record that is history. We consistently refuse to learn from it. We are constantly delving deeper than we should and drawing nothing from the experience. We will never, absolutely never, understand that which is all we have and the luck we have come upon to be so blessed. We are rich with unearned privelage and completely empty of the emotion required to comprehend it. Something us must occur to change this frightening piece of predicted time; the time we should not yet have seen.

Change us. Save us. Kill the demon that resides within all and punishes the citizens of a calculating government. Rise.

are stellar

in a bind [22 Nov 2005|08:55pm]


i could feel the winter winds biting at my skin while the sun beams reached down and warmed my cheeks. i never felt that the sun could warm my insides and this day is no different. leaps and bounds my heart has crept, but my feet remain rooted to the ground. i long for vast highways and scenic routes where the people are as dull and bland as the food in the only restaurant in town and his eyes can look at mine without feeling as though everyone we know is watching {because we are strangers here and i like it like that} your scholarly looks have got me in a bind so when my head competes with my heart, my hearts wins by a landslide. i've decided i want to grow old with you and live a nomadic existence with your fast speech (and that cute impediment) and my fast shutter speeds. we'll wake up in different towns and have our coffees at a new place every morning [even in the evening]. even in your eyes, i can see that you're envisioning this future, too, and my brain leaps to join with the heart and finally, it's fallen into place.

1 are stellar

shiver [22 Nov 2005|04:52pm]

[ mood | meh ]

since the winter months are all up on us, i've been listening to a lot of softer, sadder stuff.
it just seems fitting when the world is in greyscale.


Untitled 8 - I Can Make A Mess Like Nobody's Business
The No Seatbelt Song - Brand New
Your Name Here (Sunrise Highway) - Straylight Run
Something Vague - Bright Eyes
Ghost Of A Good Thing - Dashboard Confessional
Outside - The Early November
Garden Statement - Hidden In Plain View
The Truth About Heaven - Armor For Sleep
The Lovecats - The Cure
My Name Is Trouble - Nightmare Of You
Nothing Feels Good - The Promise Ring
Pearl - Rainmarket
Here Lies Our Holiday - Day At The Fair
Nights Of The Living Dead - Tilly & The Wall
Heart-Shaped Box - Nirvana
In Red - Lovedrug
I'm Afraid Of Americans - David Bowie

are stellar

my new layout [22 Nov 2005|02:12pm]

i break hearts like the west was won
are stellar

NWS, kinda! [22 Nov 2005|12:31am]
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

your inner beauty will let you fly, your broken soul will hold you backCollapse )
7 are stellar

[20 Nov 2005|07:45pm]

on thursday, i was frustrated to tears because i was trying to tell a boy a story before i had to go to work, but everyone was talking to him so i never got my words out. that's what this is all about.
words hang on my wilted tongue
begging to slip off if
the other voices would quiet down.
please, just let me speak and say what i can
so i can leave and be done with it.
voices clash with the walls
and the pitches get higher and higher until no one can hear
not a single word.
i can get nothing out,
no matter how hard i try.
frustration amounts to anger
and i'm left biting my tongue.
tense silence (at last)
1 are stellar

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